couples, it provides an opportunity to start anew, get centered on
things, and assess how to make things work even better.
If you want to improve your relationship, there are plenty of
suggestions from experts that discuss trips, staycations, date night,
and getting back to basics. While those things might assist, they
usually only have a short-term effect; as soon as the romantic
situation ends, the original challenges return.
Here are some crucial and fundamental ways you can improve your
relationship the moment you stop reading this article:
1. Listen with the intent to understand, not to merely respond.
So many people claim "Communication is the cornerstone of a
relationship." I don't agree. Not because communication isn't valuable
... but because for so many people, "communication" usually means
speaking--sharing their view/opinion/why they are right. In truth, the
best way to appreciate and understand where someone else is coming
from is through active listening and empathy.
What to do: You don't have to agree with your partner ... just hear
their view without asserting how right you think you are. Listening is
how problems can get worked through.
2. Tolerance doesn't work. Try acceptance.
Acceptance is critical ... not only of each other, but also of ourselves
and our individual circumstances. You can improve your relationship
instantly when you both love and accept your similarities, and respect
and appreciate your differences.
What to do: Don't wish your partner was different. Accept them for who
they are. If who they are (or how they act) doesn't work for you--or
deal breakers have come to light--discuss it.
3. Support them ... and then reinforce your support.
In any healthy relationship there are joint interests shared as a
couple, and individual interests unique to each person. If it's
important to your partner, make it important to you, too. Receiving
support from the person you love most is really important. And letting
your partner know that you care about them and their interests
regularly counts.
What to do: Now, you don't have to join them in all their
activities/passions, but paying attention to what matters to them--and
taking a genuine interest in it--makes all the difference. Carve out
some time to talk about what your partner is up to, without the need
to share your stuff at that time. By allowing them to have center
stage, they will feel valued by you. Then, let them reciprocate.
4. Get honest ... and stay that way.
Trust, loyalty, being straight-up--whatever you want to call it, being
honest is crucial for everyone. No one wants to hear negative things ...
but they'd definitely prefer the ugly truth over a beautiful lie.
What to do: Yes, there are people who lie to make themselves seem
better to others. But too often in established relationships, people
aren't honest because they: 1) don't want to disappoint the other
person; 2) don't want to feel judged for their choices; or 3) don't
feel that their truth will be accepted.
For honesty to exist, a safe space must exist for telling the truth.
So, make your relationship safe, and don't judge. If your partner
liea, that has nothing to do with you. And by always telling them the
truth, you are not only keeping your integrity, you also allow them
their dignity.
5. Keep your individuality ... now and always.
It seems "doing things together" as a couple is the unspoken (and
assumed) "must" of successful relationships. However, too often,
people then give up their sense of individuality once the relationship
has grown--instead only speaking with "we" and "us", and giving up
things that matter to them personally.
What to do: Just because someone is in a relationship doesn't mean
they give up (or worse, sacrifice) their personal wants, aspirations,
and dreams. Life, bills, kids and many other things can delay or alter
life plans. But individuality--including interests, growth, financial
independence (even if it's just a separate account)--keeps people
feeling good and secure about themselves outside the relationship ...
which plays a part in feeling good and secure in the relationship.
Read full article here:
http://www.informationng.com/2015/01/8-powerful-ways-to-make-your-relationship-incredible-right-now.html
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