Nobody 's story is over

I was telling someone the other day that our society is not fair to a
'has been,' for example, someone who 'has been' married before (and
now unmarried). We are damn too judgmental and that explains why some
people would rather cling to 'unfavourable' situations (including
disastrous marriages) to maintain 'status quo'
A young lady had a habit of saying 'all these divorcees' whenever she
meant to upset her female cousin that had a failed marriage. A few
years down the line, she claimed to be getting married to a man she
boasted so much about. Too many 'stories' were involved but the crux
of the gist is that, that marriage never saw the light of the day
because that man didn't show up at the altar and she was about four
months pregnant at that time. The man has since married another lady
and she is still in the singles market, saddled with a young daughter.
And the lady she tagged a'divorcee' has long remarried, blessed with
two kids- a woman that was labelled 'barren' in her previous marriage.
It is only someone who does not understand life that will make mockery
of another's situation. Time and time again, life has proved its
unpredictability to us, showing that its tide can turn against or for
anybody-at any time. Do not ever judge whom you have not walked his or
her path. There is every possibility that you won't do half as well
(as them) if you ever find yourself in their shoes.
We put on our 'judgmental cloak' when someone is called a divorcee; we
see everything wrong in them and the females are usually perceived as
wayward (unmarriageable materials), yet we have never cared to reason
that 'nobody can be hundred per cent at fault in a conflict. The other
party must have contributed (in some way) for the conflict to
perpetuate.
Even if the breakup of a marriage was their fault, why would they be
written off on account of their mistakes? Is anybody without a past?
Nobody goes into a marriage to watch it pack up; any relationship
leading to marriage always starts with good intentions. Most people
that find themselves in a failed marriage never imagined it would end
that way but it did. Be careful how you judge every 'divorcee' that
crosses your path in life, especially when you don't know the
direction that your own relationship/marriage can take tomorrow.
For as long as we all breathe, the story is not finished for anybody.
Life will always unfold in both pleasant and unpleasant phases for
each of us. Whatever unpleasant experiences you let another go through
in your hands next time, it might be you that will be experiencing
same from another.
We will be a lot more productive if we get busy improving our own
lives and getting better by the day, instead of making ourselves the
umpires of the 'model' life. It was the Dalai Lama that once said that
"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't
help them, at least do not hurt them." And Paulo Coelho seemed to have
summarised this for me in his words, "Everyone seems to have a clear
idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his
or her own."
The next time you feel compelled to cast the stone, get to work on
your own life because if care is not taken, your story may turn out
worse than that of whom you have been 'labelling.' Life is that
unpredictable!
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