Tips To On How To Rephrase Your Words So Your Husband Can Actually Hear You

Men often get a bad reputation for not being the best listeners. Women
complain about how their husband tunes them out or doesn't quite get
what they are trying to express. But as communicators, we have to
really be willing to ask ourselves some tough questions if our
messages are not being well received.

Sometimes the problem is not the message or the receiver. Often, the
issue can simply be how the message is delivered. Your tone, your body
language, and even when you decide to deliver particular messages can
make all the difference. Who really wants to come home from work, only
to hear a list of things they either didn't do or they did wrong? I
sure don't. I need some compassion and love in my life after a long
day.

Is it possible that even with the very best delivery, your husband is
still not hearing you? Yes, unfortunately that is very possible. But
before we jump to the conclusion that his listening skills are way
off, I think we can avoid many misunderstandings if we just take a
moment to closely examine what we are doing. If you feel compelled to
point the finger, point it at yourself first. It can help you grow and
can also change the way you communicate with your spouse going
forward.

Here are a few common statements you can rephrase to help create
healthy dialogue with your spouse. Uncross your arms, take that base
out of your voice, and say what you have to say with clarity,
compassion, and love -even if you aren't all that happy. It may not
always work, but it can help move things in a healthier direction.

Is there a reason why you never fold any of the clothes?

Is it okay if we can split folding the clothes or take turns doing it?
It's becoming too much for me to manage on my own and I would love
some help with it.

I need a break. Is it a problem if I go out with my girls this weekend?

It's been a rough week. I wanted to take a bit of time this weekend to
unwind and hang out with the girls for a bit. Did you have anything
planned? Maybe you can do something with the fellas?

Why can't you cook for once?
I know you love it when I cook, but I actually love it when you cook,
too. Do you think we can pick days of the week where we can each make
a meal and then the other days can be leftovers or take out?

So you are working late again, huh?

I appreciate all you do for our family and I know your job is
demanding, but I miss spending time with you and managing things
without you can be hard sometimes. What can we do to make this better?

I'm gonna need you to help out more. I cannot do everything by myself.

I know it seems like I have this juggling act down, but some days it
feels like way too much for me and it's becoming harder and harder to
manage. Can we talk about things we can do differently to make things
more manageable?

In all of these examples, the same sentiment is being expressed but in
a much calmer, sweeter tone. There is some definite truth to the old
adage; "You can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar." I am
not suggesting that you ignore your true feelings or neglect your
needs. I'm simply suggesting that you open up the discussion with a
different frame of mind. It's always easier to get someone to engage
if they feel like they are about to enter a peaceful conversation
rather than a fight.
--CandidBelle