Recently I came to the conclusion that a lot of our men are no longer
eager to get married. I believe they have their reasons and like most
of them say, they never have enough money for the wedding day and
maybe afterwards.
That makes me realize that we may not have prepared our men enough for
marriage, to help them understand what measure of blessings are poured
down on the man who chooses to take the bull by the horn and trust God
enough to go into this institution that has been ordained by God
himself.
I am yet to see anyone who consulted God before getting married, and
didn't pull through despite all the lessons that we learn on the way
which gives us room to grow up.
I can understand some of the reasons why men don't want to marry these
days, but the one I find strange is when I discover that some men
don't actually want to get married because they are ashamed and very
uncomfortable about the size of their penis.
One of the texts I have been bombarded with lately says "Dear sir, can
small Penis satisfy a woman with big buttocks? How many inches is
long, and what do you consider as short. You may flash me and I will
call you so you can tell me".
I later found out he has not tried to get close to anything called
marriage because he thought he will be ridiculed for the rest of his
life. What do you make of that? Meanwhile I will like to take you
through some of the reasons why some men don't get married.
1. They can get sex without marriage more easily than in time past.
A lot of men realize now that they can get sex more easily than in
times past, when women insisted in getting married before sex. I am a
man and I can tell you that a lot of women have lost it when it comes
to keeping themselves whole.
I am not so sure who is more promiscuous these days anymore, because
it seems women offer sex like no man's business this time around.
There are women now who are sleeping with about 4 men at the same time
and probably accommodate more if they can.
When women come to me to tell me how their husband was caught in
Adultery, and seek my opinion as per if they should leave him, I
always reassure them that most men who commit adultery these days,
don't go out looking for these ladies, but that the ladies seem to be
everywhere making themselves available and have removed the fun we men
use to have chasing them, since they are just there not to be chased
but to be taken and dropped.
When men realize that they can have all the sex they want without
getting married, they just don't see the point GETTING MARRIED.
2. They can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabiting rather
than marrying.
I believe it must have come to your attention now that a lot men and
women are living together now without being married to each other. It
came to my own attention through my counseling sessions.
By the time I ask the lady or man where the husband or wife will be
right now, they go like "actually Jerome, I think there is one more
thing you need to know and that is we are not legally married, but are
just living together".
Now that blows my mind, because you are not legally married, you are
living together and also have a child or two, in Africa, yes in
Africa!
I know some of these starts on Campus where a lot of girls are just
not staying in their hostels, but have moved in with their boyfriends
who probably have a room at the BQ of the lecturer's Quarters on
Campus or in their rented apartment in town, and most of their school
mates consider it acceptable.
Please note that this is also happening amongst those who profess to
be religious on Campus as well. So continuing in that way of life
isn't a problem later. How do you expect these men to consider getting
married when they have found a short cut to it?
3. They want to avoid divorced and its financial risks.
The rate of divorce is on the increase and lot of financial
implication to go with it. So the guys figure out why marry if it can
cost you more than having a family and catering for them at the end.
4. They want to wait until they are older to have children.
Most men today don't express "burning desire" for children, saying
they are not ready yet. Another factor may be at play, "They know they
will have to be there equally with a wife and provide hands-on child
care."
5. They fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromise.
Most of the time you will realize that a man just wants a wife "to
look good, provide great sex, join in his recreational activities and
tell him he is wonderful, while the Women's requirements are much
broader." They want affection.
Read more at Vanguard:
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