What to Do When Someone Tells You They Like You

There are short-term and long-term processes that have to happen when
someone likes you as more than a friend. The mistakes that people make
in these situations are the subject of many comedies and tragedies
alike from Greek mythology tos*x and the City.

There are no real hard and fast rules for human relationships, no
matter how many books and TV talk show hosts may like to pretend
otherwise. However, there are some guidelines to dealing with
affection that may help reduce the drama involved and may potentially
lead to a very happy romance.

Short Term Strategies

Say Thank You

Regardless of whether you return the sentiment, acknowledge that the
person has just paid you a compliment. They were probably very nervous
about doing so, and that makes it all the more meaningful. The very
first thing to say is "Thank you for telling me!" It's simple, it's
polite, and it sets a tone of conversation that can help defuse some
of the tension. It also gives you a chance to deal with the other
short term strategies.

Go With Your Gut

You will have an initial reaction to hearing that someone likes you.
It will be very immediately positive or negative, and easy to tell.
About five seconds later, though, the analytical mind will start to
examine and tear apart this initial reaction. That's fine, it's there
to protect you, but never forget that initial reaction. If you don't
like someone, but try to talk yourself into it ("He's rich, he's
handsome, everybody else likes him!") you are almost certainly going
to end up miserable. Likewise, if you do feel attraction to someone
but start criticizing the feeling ("What would my parents think?") you
are setting yourself up as your own antagonist. You don't have to tell
the person how you feel right away, but recognize your initial
reaction as being one that is true. You'll examine that later.

Choose A, B, or C

*.A is when you like the person, and there doesn't seem to be any
reason not to tell them. If you've been thinking about how much you
like them then this is exactly the time to tell them: "I like you
too!"

*.B is when you have been worried about exactly this event because you
can tell they like you, and you know you don't return the flirtation.
In that case, you need to tell them in the traditional way: "I like
you, but not in that way." It's better to be honest if you are sure of
this.

*.C is when you really aren't sure and when it comes as a surprise.
There is nothing wrong with saying "Thank you for telling me! Wow,
that's a surprise. I need some time to process this. Can we talk more
about it later?"

Long Term Strategies

The strategy for choice "A" above is pretty simple: Live happily ever
after. How to do so is not always as easy to figure out, but luckily
there are many articles with relationship advice.

If you have to refuse their affections, remember that honesty is far
less cruel than leading someone on. One of the biggest fears of
telling someone you like them is that you may lose them as a friend.
The only way to possibly avoid this is to set and keep personal
boundaries in how you spend time together, and how you show the ways
you do like each other. To muddy the waters will only lead to more
confused feelings and mixed signals.

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