Installmentally:This "word" is a favourite of many Nigerians, but,
sadly, it simply does not exist. You won't find it any reputable
dictionary. The correct thing to say when "installmentally" comes to
your mind is in instalments or by instalments.
Plumpy:Nigerians use "plumpy" when they want to say that someone is
chubby or slightly fat. The correct expression is plump.
Disvirgin:This particular "word" is used severally on a daily basis,
especially by Nigerian men when they intend saying that a woman has
lost her virginity to a guy. The correct word to use, however, is
deflower, because "disvirgin" is not a word.
Crosscarpeting or cross-carpeting:This is a favourite of Nigerian
politicians and political analysts alike. They use it when they want
to say that a politician has dumped his political party for another
party, usually a rival party. The right terms to use when describing
this scenario are party switching, defection and crossing the floor
and not "cross-carpeting" or "crosscarpeting."
Go-slow:The word go-slow exists, but not in the way Nigerians use it.
A "go-slow," in the peculiarly Nigerian context, is a situation in
which road traffic is very sluggish due to vehicle queues. However,
go-slow in the English language actually means an industrial tactic
used by employees whereby they intentionally reduce activity,
productivity and efficiency in order to press home some demands. When
this happens, you say that work in the office, factory or organization
is at a go-slow. The correct terms to use when road traffic is very
sluggish due to vehicle queues are traffic jam, traffic congestion,
gridlock, and (less technically) hold-up, not "go-slow."
Cunny:"Cunny" is not found in authoritative dictionaries, but it can
be found in some slang dictionaries. Over there, it is a slang used to
refer to a woman's v**ina. The correct term to use is cunning (which
is used to describe someone that is being deceitful or crafty) and not
"cunny."
Opportuned:There is nothing like "opportuned" anywhere in the English
language, but that has not stopped its blatant use by all and sundry
in Nigeria, including journalists and writers. The correct word is
opportune. The word opportune is an adjective; therefore it has no
past tense. An adjective has no past tense. However, some verbs can
function as adjectives or adverbs in a sentence. These verbs are
called participles and they do have past tenses. They are not pure
adjectives. Examples of participles are fattened, amused, disgusted,
mystified, overwhelmed, upset and bored. Be that as it may, opportune
is a pure adjective and not a participle, therefore it has no past
tense. Opportune means appropriate or well-timed.
Alright:"Alright" is a misspelling of the term all right. All right is
used when you want to say that something is adequate, acceptable,
agreeable or suitable. To hardcore English language linguists,
"alright" is not a word. However, its usage is gaining traction and
it's increasingly becoming acceptable. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary
- which is considered the gold standard among American English
speakers - has recently drawn a lot of criticisms for its
permissiveness when it began indexing some otherwise colloquial and
street language terms, including "alright." Most linguists disagree
with the gradual acceptance of "alright" as a word by the public and
even the media, while those in the minority are "alright" with it.
Wake-keeping:"Wake-keeping" exists only in the imagination of a few
English speakers. As a matter of fact, there is no such thing as
"wake-keeping." The correct word is wake and not even "wake-keep."
Both "wake-keeping" and "wake-keep" are ungrammatical.
Screentouch:This bad grammatical expression gained currency in Nigeria
and neighbouring West African countries with the influx of
made-in-China stylus pen touchscreen not-so-smart phones in the mid
2000s. It was a novelty then; many in Nigeria had not seen it - or
even thought such advanced technology was possible - before. So, they
looked for a name to call it and "screentouch" came to mind, after all
you just touch the screen and it starts working. In case you've still
not figured it out yet, the correct thing to say is touchscreen and
not "screentouch."
So there you have it, 10 English language "words" Nigerians love to
use that are not found in the dictionary. Feel free to add yours.
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Author: Chinedu Rylan
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